Got late news of the death of late Shafiqah Laila, Kak Anne's last daughter. I have nt contacted them for a year. N this sudden news just shocked me. Bbyg break the news only now tht she just gt the news. Its been months back! Kak Anne have been looking for me bt she cant.
I have mixed feelings of whether they can accept how things are. Like i cant contact them directly n stuff. Bt, knowing they are still looking fr me, i knew they cn accept the situation.
I feel really useless tht i am not there at their lowest. I knew it wud break their heart even more tht i no longer come to visit them. But how am i to tell them all this situation? Maybe, they knew abt all this. If nt, why wud i just go missing for a year, right?
I miss them. Really miss them alot. I wanna hug them n tell them how much i misses them. They are always in my prayers. I wonder how they are. Grieving? Depress? Blaming themselves for the death? I hope they are coping. I really hope they do.
Till then, my heart hurts typing all this. I cant bare to not be there to see all this.
