Sister's Engagement; Hectic Week.

The week has been hectic with all the combos of me sick, work and sissy's engagement day. But of course, her special occasion has went smoothly despite me ended all her gubahan at the last hour before I could even prepare myself. So, my timeline is getting packed every week. Includes work load is piling and outstanding. Can't afford to waste time anymore, I have to chiong!

To add on to the event calender of mine, my closest ever cousin is getting married! I know I wasn't around to attend her engagement but her family has asked me to be her bridesmaid for her wedding. Oh my! I can't actually believe my TWIN is getting married so soon! She has been my closest in Msia whenever I am back for Raya or any other occasions. But because, I have lived the same age, year, month and name with her, I'm glad she is stepping into the marriage life. Whatsmore, I will be staying her home a few days earlier than my parents to do her preparation, attend her solemnization and Henna night till the actual day. So, will be searching for the right cloth to tailor for her day this week.

On top of that, Having a wedding next week too. So, pretty busy with planning and preparation. Surely, I will update again when I'm on my FREEDOM session.

Once again, congratulations to my sister and soon to come her BIG DAY.

Signing off,

Little baby steps.

Meeting ended after 2hrs ++. Well, its normal to have a very long discussion. Im just too tired to even start on anything today (I know I have like less than 24hrs to bring up the slides). What the heck, I will just crack my brains the whole day tomorrow! :D

Im not very much of a person with much ideas but I hope I will pop some soon. Heh! So, a new industry im involving myself in. Why? I just want to gain some knowledge and experience. Im not really into the salary amount (well, maybe I am a little) but Im keen to start kicking off. Oh yeah! It is also something new for love, a new experience but we just wanna go for the exposure.

Am in need of a new diary to keep my schedule up to date. Will grab one on Friday before my presentation. And will also grab one for love. Idc how he is going to use it but he needs one now!! LOL!

My throat has been a pain yesterday, seems to be slightly better today but came along Mr Flu, Block Nose and Cough. All in one on a wrong day of the week. Baahhh! I think I better get to bed now.

So, if anyone out there, you need help for your wedding, we are a call away! Cherios~

February has come.

It's February again. Marks another year to our relationship.

It has been a long well spent time with love as I have been beside him almost everyday. Be it home.or out. Staying over at FIL's place was hectic and too much drama. Hah! But in any case, certainly i see happiness despite some problems they may be facing.

Love has been having insecurities these days in which idky. So, he is being as annoying as ever & grumpy. Haa! That's him definitely.

I still love you lah sayang no matter. I can admire you for hours. With your "masham sedap" smell on your cheeks. Lying in your arms. And scolding you for playing phone games all the time with me! Ha!! And yet i love you as much!

On a side note, sister's engagement is drawing nearer. So, has been helping her out with her stuffs by far & damn tired.

To add on to my happiness, am going to an industry full of politics but with lots of experience to gain from. Haha! I got hold of both worlds!!!

Still, i have to think of getting back my old weight. Dang!

P.S- Happy February everyone! Its the month of loveeeeee. ;)

Nothing's easy.

Life is tough, but some may face it even tougher than we thought.

I have not been what I am suppose to be for past weeks, something that is unlikely to be ME. Years and years of trying with no results cuts me deeply in silence. Will anyone understand? To be a good daughter or not to be is a choice not a compulsory. Something different from other people's perspective but I'm sure whatever choices made, it has its own reasons. Maybe at times, religion constricts some choices, partly to its reasons and that I have to understand.

Depression is not a sickness, emotions and mentally affecting the mind. I almost wanted to take anti-depressants reason being, "To Forget All The Pain." It sounds weird or sounds ridiculous to some, but in my view, I feel it and understand from what I see. I've been studying someone that is facing this, comparing it to myself. One common thing, in the view of people, WE SEEM NORMAL. Happy. Cheerful. Problem-free.

Looking deeper inside, and she as a woman, there is some lack of some things that made her depressed. Unsure really the main issue to her, but it may be due to relationship, children, family for her. Not much of others I can relay on. Despite all these, family can be the big reason why.

Me? To be appreciated. If to find love out of the context of family, I've got all that love. Really. I have my lover, his family, friends. All the love that I need. Well, not much from friends but close ones Yes. Family? Lacking. Why? Yes I have everything, home, siblings, both parents, education, a complete thing. Not everything done is something appreciated. I work really hard, pushing myself higher than I could to be somebody they would say "PROUD". The most difficult thing that no one has ever done for me. I don't need all these luxury. Sometimes, Money is an issue too. Tell me about it. Other than that, A choice I've made for myself, was never something that is "OK".

I love my Boyfriend so much even if my family don't. Even if it is the hardest thing for them to accept, I'm still going on for it. For this once, I'm doing it for myself. Say about status, i'm no longer wanting that. Let status be in the eyes of Allah. I pray to Him that He will show me to the right path, and that the person I chose will guide and lead me and my children to Jannah. Insyaallah. One fine day, they will understand. One fine day.

Insecurities.

There is at times in a relationship, insecurities propped up. Reasons? Maybe below reasons from me may be the result to the insecurities.

• Lesser time spent with each other
• Less communication
• Trust issues
• Past experiences
• Dislikes
• Attitude
• No mutual understanding
• Involvement of other parties

Easier said than done. There is more to the list but it may be something unknown or noticed by me. :D

Will there be ways of avoiding all this? Or its always in a relationship?

Obviously, I want to avoid and everyone does, am i right? Okay. This would depend on individuals of course. Nonetheless, there is more questions in mind.

For all I can say, Love and to be Loved is a CHOICE.

So, what listed above may be flaws. Regardless of all the flaws, we still love the person the way they are. But, that is not a reason to be taken for granted. If insecurities occurs, then, we have to sit and talk.The more its prolonged, the worse the situation is. 

Okay, readers, to make it simple, PUSH ALL NEGATIVITIES ASIDE. Bring in all the POSITIVES! YES!

:)

Maybe I watched too many malay movies.... Okay.

Toodles!

Another lover.

No doubt in life, there are choices to be made. Be it for good or for the worst to come.
Frankly, I may not be an angel cos I am filled with too many sins in this world. I may not even be the best person you know to be telling you about love.
But, there cn be another lover. How can one's relationship be so smooth sailing?
- All I can  say, at this moment of time, i'd like to strike of this phrase. There is no way its going to be another lover, a lover is specially for one, and it has to remain tht way. Lesson learnt.
P.S I am a nobody to have my say. Im sorry.

Findings

People always states "Don't judge a book by its cover." Its easier judging than being the covers.

Not many realises some things when they do a mistake or something wrong. In fact, they take it as they are right. I used to be tht kind of a person. Frankly, one incident happened tht make me realise i do mistakes. Mistakes tht i thought it was right.

So much of giving advices to people. Haha!

I know one thing tht i believe, God gives us tests matching to our capabilities. He knows we are able to take the level of endurance.

What i'm feeling now is totally unknown to anyone. Not even to a friend. May Allah give me the strength to go through all this & ease the pain im having. I am very sure, He knows best of what i am inside out. All this comes from Him & from Him i seek help. :'(

Obviously i do knw a lot of things unknown by many tht thinks i dnt knw. As far as i am concerned at this moment, let wht ppl want to condemn abt me, He will do what is required. I dont have to do anything except fr the truths.

Till then.
~ Redha